be prepared: it ain't just for boy scouts

[hjea]

I know I saw this in someone else's journal, so if it's you, I apologize for stealing without credit. But this has been generating EPIC conversations over the course of my weekend, and I think it's finally time to bring it back to livejournal world. Thus, in short: What sort of personal ad would you place in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

Think about it. I'm an English (/History!) Major. Besides from maybe being able to light a fire if push came to shove, I have almost NO SURVIVAL SKILLS. If the zombie hoards suddenly rose up and washed across the earth, I would need someone with me to see to my survival. Someone to find me food, or shoot zombies in the head, or tend to my wounds, or maybe even just give me a soothing backrub.

Personal ads could be as general as:
WANTED: Morally flexible hunter/forager, basic engineering and first aid skills a must.

Or as specific as: WANTED: The Doctor. With TARDIS good, but not a deal breaker.

If you're want a whole commune of survival helpers too, that's great! From the answers I've gotten since Saturday, post-apocalypse party members have ranged from Buffy, to R2D2, to Jesus. If you can justify your choice I WANNA KNOW.

So without much more preamble:

[Poll #1338750]

And while I'm at it: Have you (either idly or seriously) considered making a plan for the zombie uprisings? Be truthful now.
-Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe
-Run to the roof and destroy the stairs behind you. Blades don't need reloading. JUST LET THEM COME.
-I don't dwell on it, but I may have practiced throwing LPs at my sister's head.
-Well obviously, the end of the world will come about because of ROBOTS, not zombies. Duh. I keep my computer locked up at night just in case.
-I WELCOME OUR ZOMBIE/ROBOT OVERLORDS
-No

Comments

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

I voted "no" for your second poll, but the third option about the computers was more apt. Except, instead of locking my computers up at night, I have taken GREAT CARE to be very devoted to them. *pets Silas and James and Sirius* A little affection goes a LONG way.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

Maybe we can turn our computers to our side when the inevitable war comes about. THEY CAN BE LIKE OUR OWN LITTLE SHARON AGATHONS.

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

I was thinking more that our computers and iPods may put in a good word for us when the revolution comes, so that we'll be granted clemency. :) *hugs Silas and James, and sends mental hugs to Sirius JUST IN CASE*

[hjea.livejournal.com]

AHH, I just tried to edit it and LJ ATE MY POLL. GRR.

THIS IS WHY COMPUTERS (AND ZOMBIES!) SHALL SPELL OUR DOOM!!!!!!!!!

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

...into which category does LJ fall?? *blinky eyes*

(also, no new HIMYM last night, apparently? At least according to series gringas??)

[hjea.livejournal.com]

LJ is computer based. THEREFORE IT IS ALL PART OF THE ROBOT CONSPIRACY.

And yeah, no HIMYM this week afterall. Sad.

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

I was compulsively refreshing my browser for hours, DEMANDING I HAVE A NEW EPISODE. But eventually I had to content myself with House. And CAKE (which, btw, is also fucking delicious. DUDE. *scrrrmfff nom nom*

See, I think LJ may be a separate faction in the robot conspiracy, since it misbehaves far more often than any computer of mine. Hmmm.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

I tend to check the little chat box on the side of the site, they tend to mention if the show actually aired or not. ;)

And I haven't actually tried the cake yet! Strange, that. ;)

See, I think LJ may be a separate faction in the robot conspiracy, since it misbehaves far more often than any computer of mine. Hmmm.

See, I think they've got all these different little points of attack. Then they lull you into a sense of security then.. WHAMMY!

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm.... mebbe go into HTML and open your [lj-poll] tag again? It looks like something might've eaten it, hence there being only a closing tag......? Perhaps?

[hjea.livejournal.com]

It looks like you can't edit polls once they're posted. The HTML isn't doing anything... LJ.

[xtinethepirate.livejournal.com]

You can't go back into the poll editor?? :(

Mebbe bah-lete it and make the poll anew? If you're interested in our zombie planz, that is.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

Tried that. Can't make new polls.

BECAUSE IT'S EVIIIIIIIIIL.

[vhari.livejournal.com]

WANTED: Gun owning muscular man who has a close resemblance to Brendan Fraser (in the hot days) must enjoy brisk walks and protecting me. Pants optional.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

I can tell the pants optional is really the important point here. *serious nod*

&hearts

[vhari.livejournal.com]

You know me so well ♥ Really if that was the last thing I saw before my brains were devoured by Zombies, I think I would be ok with it.

This man should never wear pants. (http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h82/vhari_leishman/GEORGE-RELAXES-AT-HOME--full.jpg)

[hjea.livejournal.com]

See, and that is a perfectly legitimate reason to put out a want ad. Someone to take the edge off of your inevitable messy death!

I mean, who wants to look at zombies in your final moments? Yech.

[vhari.livejournal.com]

If you destroy the stairs how do you steal food from the nearest supermarket to restock your kitchen?

[hjea.livejournal.com]

Rope ladder.

[vhari.livejournal.com]

you, my friend, are a genius.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

*bows*

[elizalavelle.livejournal.com]

I think about it from time to time... moreso after reading World War Z... I think I'd make a go of surviving, hopefully with friends.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

Ah, do your friends provide a useful and varied skill set of survival techniques? ;)

To be fair, most of my zombie education comes from Shaun of the Dead, so I tend to think that with a cricket bat and a nice cup of tea, I should be okay.

[elizalavelle.livejournal.com]

Mel 2X2 has excellent shooting skills :)

[hjea.livejournal.com]

Hee! True enough.

[ninamazing.livejournal.com]

AHAAHAHAHA I think you win with "someone slower than I am"!

I have thought about this too, mostly in the context of fantasy novels; I don't know what I would do if the world suddenly changed to value old-fashioned survival skills, instead of stuff like what to do if your computer won't eject a disc. :P Basically, I'd be screwed.

My brother is currently obsessed with this zombie apocalypse game and is constantly telling me about new strategies to defeat the various zombie types and their swarms. So yeah, I guess I've thought about it. :P

[hjea.livejournal.com]

But Helo would definitely come in handy. He could just pick us up and carry us away from the zombies!

I tend to think about it in terms of "Oh no, I'm stuck in the past!" as well. Like, if I suddenly found myself in the 17th century, and I can't cook on an open fire, or sew anything, and I'd probably piss all the locals off so much for trying to teach them feminism and hygiene that they would hang me.

Better to stick with zombies. ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/janie_jones_/]

Heather, don't you remember my obsessive reading of the Zombie Survival Guide in Grade 12, I had a plan, I had many plans. Step one in any disaster situation, including and especially a zombie attack, fill your bathtub/sinks with water.
The problem with blades is that they require close contact with puts you at a serious risk, I wish I remember what Max Brooks said.
Also, if you must travel, use off road vehicles, they don't require refueling and can take you away from the scuffle and through traffic that may occur during a mass evacuation (due to aforementioned zombies)

[http://users.livejournal.com/janie_jones_/]

Also, in response to your want ad. It was hilarious at first, but in all seriousness, by having that person attacked first all you would gain is another Zombie to battle later :( Be safe my friend.

[noblealice.livejournal.com]

OH MAN! I had a dream about Survivorman helping me, but I think I'd rather Jason Statham. He was a stunt-man before becoming a really bad actor! He can kick people's asses in creative ways using whatever material he finds around him! He knows how to use a gun! He has a gravelly voice!

Clearly, my hormones have decided that a hot kick-butt action hero-esque protector is a higher priority than someone who can procure food for me in the desert/forest/tundra.


Note: a wicked witch (ala my icon) would also be acceptable, so long as her anger and magic are used FOR my purposes and not against me.

[hjea.livejournal.com]

Clearly, my hormones have decided that a hot kick-butt action hero-esque protector is a higher priority than someone who can procure food for me in the desert/forest/tundra.

Heck, this post was mainly inspired by me watching The Bourne Identity on repeat. If Jason Bourne can't save me from zombies, then no one can.

Awesome icon! Yeah, I think any villain, as long as their interest was in keeping you alive would be good. Though for the sake of... er... repopulation priorities, I'm going to stick with Bourne. ;)